My husband James is the minister of worship at our church in Green Bay, and the other day he sent out an email to his group of singers and musicians...it is such a beautiful message. He titles it "For your Consideration" Read on...
...."looking back now I can see what I thought was a trial was really a blessing..."
A few days ago I was driving around and that line came to mind. Nothing more, nothing less. No melody, not yet a song (hopefully in the future, though); one simple line.Yesterday was Nathan's first birthday. To think of all that has changed in our home, in our lives, and in us in one short year! It's actually getting hard to remember what it was like before Nate, and even though times were good; somehow they seem incomplete. As most of you know by now, those first 3 months of Jill's pregnancy were stressful, as the prior pregnancy ended prematurely in that time frame.
After the 12 week hurdle was crossed, we thought it was clear sailing for the next 6 months - but it simply was not to be.There was in fact about a 3 week 'honeymoon' period with no extra stress. I say that, because you parents out there know that even a 'normal' pregnancy can cause much anxiety and upheavel. But back on July 06 (Jill's birthday, ironically); the (first) specialists brought us in to a small, sterile conference room after another ultrasound and told us our little baby had big problems. Spina bifida, severe mental retardation, doubtful to ever talk or walk, and on and on with the most horrific things any new parent would never want to hear.We were shell-shocked, numb really. The doctor's delivery was so stoic, without any emotion or compassion. It seemed like the room was shrinking and the oxygen was non-existent. Too stunned to even cry, suddenly jolted again when we heard, “most parents choose to abort at this stage because...”STOP. Stop right there. That's enough.
We have therapy twice a month, and some things come a little harder, but it simply makes each part of the journey that much more rewarding.So now, one year along, I can clearly see that although I was fully convinced God was testing us, trying us, and allowing us to endure hardship for some reason known only to Him – I was wrong. Completely wrong.So if you have found yourself today in the midst of what you think is a great trial, give it some time. Ask God to help you release the situation to Him, and to give you His perspective of it.You see, all along Nate was a blessing. It wasn't Nate that changed, it was me. Blessings, Pastor James