Monday, August 26, 2013
Hey, where'd that week go?
Tonight is his last night home!
While I was cooking dinner, Andrew was dozing on the couch. I said, "Andrew?" And he replied, "mm?" And I said, "I don't want you to go. I'm going to really miss you. It won't be the same here without your laughter and smile..." And then I went on for about 10 minutes telling him all the ways I love him and am proud of him and what a leader he is and that I look forward to hearing about all the great things God will do in his life this next year. I'm so happy I had the chance to pour in the good stuff...I really needed to do that.
So I made tenderloin for dinner....Tony was over so that made it special...and afterward Andrew and James went to the store for a few last-minute things. And a movie.
Always a movie for those two.
Like it's any other normal night.
In many ways it is. But in one big way, it is not.
My boy is leaving home.
I have been willing myself not to break down and bawl like a baby.
I want to!
But Hannah needed all of her work papers filled out, and Nate needed attention in the bathroom, if you know what I mean. The kitchen was a wreck from dinner and I could find everybody else's birth certificate but Andrew's. He says he gave it back to me after taking it to Gilly's...it's just one if those things. Crazy last-minute stuff and I thought I had one more full day with him but James said they were leaving after lunch tomorrow and all of a sudden the thought of losing 3 or 4 hours in the afternoon with him seems like a tragedy like they are the most valuable 3 or 4 hours of my life when all summer I thought I had thousands of 3 or 4 hours.
I know I will see him later, after work. I will drive up and be with him and spend the night and have time with him then.
I know he'll be home for 5 weeks over the holidays.
I know he will only be a few hours away, and that it's only for a year.
I know all of that.
I also know it is more than that.
I know I am letting him go.
So I'll sign off now, and go into the living room and say goodnight for the last time for a long time.
Posted by Jill Kocian